They make you wait with your parents in silly children’s rooms with ridiculous wallpaper. They make you gag after they forget that they have told you to open your mouth wide and say “Ahhhhh”.

Who are they?

They are the infamous doctors of our world.

Doctors are said to be some of the smartest people on the face of the planet.

They endure way too many years in college and take on intense competition from their peers, as they all compete to get the job.

It’s no wonder that they speak in notorious monotones and seem to always be in deep thought, only to come up with a conclusion that anyone could have told you, long before you tortured yourself with the unfortunate experience of a trip to the doctor’s office.

You have a sore throat and runny nose: you have a cold!

You can’t move your toe after you dropped a can of soup on it last night: let me just tell you now that it is, indeed, broken.

How do I know all this?

I have been in to the doctor a good ten times this year (my mother’s work of course), and every time I go in, I leave wanting to test just how far I could throw every object in the room-possibly at the doctor, on the way out.

Well, you say to me, just get a new doctor!

Oh, how I have tried! In fact, I did several months ago, and guess where that got me? To the land of people with messy hand-writing, icky loafer shoes, monotone voices, and deep thoughts.

My advice to you?

Unless you are actually dying, save some gas and just don’t go.

By Deanna Ross