Yellow, school, coach, long, short, and city. What do all these words have in common? They all have had the unfortunate circumstance of being associated with buses.

Over the weekend, I was on a Coach bus, with the in mind destination of the Wisconsin Dells.

The bus ride there was absolutely no problem for me, after all who doesn’t like having to hours to catch up with friends when all you have to do is await the arrival of your destination. However, the returning bus ride home was not nearly as pleasant.
Now it may not have been all the buses’ fault that my ride home was not satisfactory.

I was experiencing multiple unpleasant noises by its passengers and the occasional scare from a bus driver who demonstrated he didn’t really attend Driver’s Education.

To my first problem, what I have to say is that buses do crazy things to people. It could possibly be the confined atmosphere, shear boredness, the interior issues, and the need of something to do to pass time that brings out the weird habits of the people around you. Ever want to get to know somebody? Stick them on a bus with you for a little over two hours and see what happens.

To the second issue brought up above, all I have to say is that I exchanged equally as worried glances from my fellow passengers as our driver transitioned very closely to the barrier for a good portion of the bus ride.

Could this also be part of the first problem? That the bus atmosphere affects even the driver? Why not, that unfortunate soul is the one who spends the most time on the thing.

Maybe he was just looking for something to spice up his job, but when he made jerky stops; my head met the back of the seats hard many times.

I could have dealt with this, if it weren’t for the clouds of dust that sprang out of those seats like a nuclear explosion. Will I suffer lung damage? It’s too soon to tell, but I may have suffered a seizure or two while glancing at the patterns on the seats around me.

The pattern on those seats looked like a rainbow threw up all over them and decided to add some gray as a last resort.

Am I saying that buses have some magical power to suck the life out of their passenger? Not exactly, but let’s just keep in mind that at least two people I know got off of that bus with tears carving little streams into their cheeks.

Ultimately, I have come to the conclusion this weekend that buses are, indeed, bad news.

Written by Deanna Ross